I’ve re-started this post a couple of times now as I’m not entirely sure how to put into words my struggle with being twenty two. But, I’m going to just write whatever comes to mind and keep it real… (am I too old yet to say ‘keep it real’?)
So, I’m twenty two (twenty three next month…HELP) and I basically feel like I should be working towards the career I want, have almost enough in the bank to buy my first house and be on my way to getting engaged with a better half. However, my current situation is the exact opposite of that.
I got back from working abroad around six months ago now and got a job as an assistant in a law firm in Bristol with my friends. NOT as glam as it sounds. My relationship ended around two months ago and let’s just say - I thought he was the person I was going to marry and pop out a couple of babies with - oh how wrong I was. I also love to spend money on stuff I don’t need - specifically food, wine and clothes - so I don’t exactly have a savings pot big enough to buy a house (or anything) just yet.
I know this probably doesn’t sound too bad when you actually think about it. I’m twenty two, technically don’t have anything to keep me in one place so the world is pretty much my oyster. BUT, I at least want a little bit of a direction. I’m not naturally a free spirit who loves to be social and is happy to just see what life has in store for me. I want to know (roughly) what career I want, at least. I think that’s the main thing that’s got me panicking over here.
In regards to relationships, well - I think my heart has been broken too recently to make sense of what I want in that department. I’m sure it’s something I’ll tell you all about in the future but for now, I just feel like I’m going to die a lonely old lady. With 0 cats. I hate cats.
I felt like I was the only person stressing this much and feeling this confused and pressured (and basically like I’m either going to implode or run away to Canada and live happily ever after [I’m not joking about the latter]). Until, I starting talking to people about it and apparently… this is actually what your 20’s are for. THANK GOD.
So far, all I really know is that I want to travel a bit (although I’ve always wanted to do that with the non-existent better half I mentioned earlier). I know I definitely don’t want to be a lawyer - I don’t think I’m cut out to do a desk job. I know that I’m not the only person to feel like this. I know that I need to just stop putting so much pressure on myself and I also know that I have the best friends ever that will always remind me that actually, I am still only twenty two and have my whole life to sort my shit out (Even if I do feel approximately 42).
I suppose the great part in all of this is, if I wasn’t having a premature quarter life crisis, Happy Go Meg wouldn’t have been born and I wouldn’t be sat here broadcasting my thoughts… maybe I could go into writing?
Let me know if you’re struggling with this part of your life too? And for anyone older, do you really get your shit sorted or you just get better at pretending you do?
See you in the next post,