To anyone grieving this Christmas
This is a very impromptu post with zero planning but I just needed to write something for anyone grieving the loss of someone.
This is my first Christmas home since 2015 as I was working abroad in ski resorts. My first season I was on FaceTime to my best friend for pretty much the entire day - her birthday is Christmas Day you see. I won’t say too much about her as I’m already a blubbering mess but let’s just say the longest we went without talking in ten years was approximately 4 hours. She was my soul mate in a best friend (twin is probably the best word describe it. We looked like the same person and people would always mistake us as sisters).
I came home in April of 2016 which is when my life fell apart and my best friend, twin, soul sister was taken from the world.
I then ran away to work in Ibiza. I then ran away to work in France. I chose to not accept it until I got home from France this year and decided it’s time to try (still struggling with that I have to say). With other personal things going on like a breakup, I have wanted nothing more than to run away again but I’ve stayed put to force myself through my first Christmas without her.
I’m not entirely sure what I was expecting but I just feel empty, if I’m honest with you all. I’ve had some tears today (I cannot stop the bloody tears). But other than that I don't feel much else. I kind of want to lie in bed and sleep until this is all over.
Anyway - I wasn’t going to get this personal but i’m just sat in my rooms and this is what’s come out of my brain so I’m just rolling with it.
So, to anyone that is grieving over the loss of their best friend, brother, sister, parent, grandparent, uncle, aunt or whoever else it may be - please know that you’re not alone. And it’s completely ok to be sad instead of bursting with Christmas cheer.
I’m sure that if they’re anything like Harriet, they’d be wanting you to just have fun and stop being sad for them.
Please feel free to message me on instagram if you’d like to share your story with me or just chat, knowing we’re going through this together.
Merry Christmas Eve,