Heartbreak journal entry: Two
So you might be wondering where the other entry went, and I’m not going to go into too much detail, but I chose to delete it as I felt it was all a little bit too raw to be able to decipher in the way I wanted to.
I’m now sat in a cafe; with a coffee and a sandwich and thought it would be the perfect time to update you.
It’s now been a few weeks - but around a week with no contact - and in all honesty it’s really hard and I’m pretty sad about it.
I suppose it is becoming normal to not speak daily or update him with all the little things I used to. For example - how much food I'd eaten in a day or how much I was craving pizza.
But here’s hoping it gets easer.
I also now know not to fight so hard for something to work or someone to ‘want’ you. If they don’t, they don’t and it doesn’t reflect your worth. They have their own reasons which are nothing to do with your worth.
I’ve also realised that not having your boyfriend/built in best friend means that you’re kind of left to do things alone. There have been so many little markets/Christmas markets/events/movies that I’ve wanted to go to but I don’t have that person that would just automatically come and experience them with me. But that’s all I’ll mention on loneliness as I’m going to write all about it soon.
Anyway, I just wanted to check in and explain why I’ve been so absent from my blog and social media. I’ve just been feeling really unmotivated and non-creative but it’s coming back (yay).
On another note - I have been learning to play guitar and I’ve been studying French again! I’ve also been trying to get more organised and basically just get my life together. I’m going to do a post on how I get organised as let me tell you - it does not come naturally to me to be organised. It takes many, many lists.
I’ve also been promoted! So that’s exciting - my new role starts the beginning of next month with will keep me busy and give me something to focus on.
I have been looking at moving into Bristol as well but something just doesn’t feel quite right about that yet. Maybe I’ll look into it in the new year instead.
Right - I have coffee to drink so I’ll stop rambling and see you in the next post!